Tuesday, November 21, 2006

A1 Pathologists

With the news that hospitals will soon be advertising their services, I decided I'd put in my contribution to the pathology department's ad campaign. Never mind the huge piles of slides sitting on our desks in the department, we've got to come up with a glossy brochure. You might think that we'd do better by reporting our slides and that the money for this advertising might be better spent on other things (maybe a new automatic slide stainer, a nurse or two, a neonatal intensive care unit perhaps?) and so would I. But, for what it's worth, here's my ad....
Ill? Dead? Do YOU need a histopathologist?

A1 histopathologists are here for all your diagnostic histopathology needs.
Yes, we will fix, examine, dissect, block and report YOUR biopsy ASAP. First, second and third opinions available. Special rates for multiple biopsies from the same patient. Send any large resection and get the lymph nodes reported FREE! Full autopsy service, hospital or coroner, toxicology, microbiology and other tests available. Cervical screening and non-cervical cytology. Full immunohistochemistry service and access to flow cytometry and cytogenetics. Ring us TODAY to discuss your case.

*turnaround times may vary


That should do it….

4 Comments:

At 20:39, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Well, I know who I'll be calling when I die, then! SOLD!

 
At 17:54, Blogger Shinga said...

Your advert appeals very well to people with a straightforward, scientific outlook on life. I'm a little concerned that you have overlooked the marketing opportunities presented by the self-help industry.

Have you had your colours done, but you still look drab? Have you eaten for your blood-type but still feel blah?Do you want to get to know the real you? The one that even you don't get to see because you are too busy meeting the needs of others?

Send along a sample today. Let us culture the inner you. Make friends with all the bacteria, cells and processes that go to make up the wonder that is you. Learn how to dress, how to eat and which environments suit your own unique profile.

Call today! The greatest gift that you can give to yourself is insight and understanding. Christmas specials available.

Still not right, but you get the drift.

Regards - Shinga

 
At 21:56, Anonymous Chromatin said...

"Would you like to see your cervix, madam?"

And you forgot: for cytology, only opinions are available!

 
At 17:25, Blogger Dr K said...

You're right, 'holistic' is the way to go!

 

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